Recurring past...

And sometimes they come back when you least expect them.















Cher ami

Witnessing the twilight by the sparkle in your eyes,
As the light turned into withered traces of the day.
The glare grew to a helpless glance of sorrow…
Like sand in my mortal hands, drifting out.
Far more terrifying than beating ahead the very hands of time.
The progressing silence bounded by terror and grief,
wrenches my desperately unyielding heart.
The white fluffy clouds are racing across the sky…
And the leaves are fluttering by the cold wind of December.
I suppose its coming for me…
The companionship to surreal destinations where you would dare not go.
I fly by the death of the night, where reasoning dismounts at my disposal.
The shapes and colors of the stories and phrases have been quite unkind…
The mutilitated concrete of veracity, scattered like stars in this sea of mystery.
Like in a childhood memory I’m still very fond of…
Chapters of visions, occur and disappear with a haze.
Dismantling the thresholds of both time after and time before…
I said farewell and you in turn said goodbye for yet another time.
For every instance the gloom grew to an excessive thought of unworthiness, discomfort, and disconcertment.
The stream of consciousness between the thresholds of time past and time yet to pass…
Grew to become a raging river, and for no storm at all…
It transfigured into a ravenous sea of unspeakable destruction.
The shifting waves of sorrow and joy…
Commandeering my primitive apprehensions and manifestations.
Engulfed in it, the thought of appreciation and understanding,
Touched my benumbed yearning and appeasement,
and caressed my ever so wanting soul.
In its bliss and terror I came to survive with, love, and learn.
Beneath the superficial ripples, where reality is real at range point blank.
I don’t feel threatened nor afraid.
At any degree and dimension of reality, the speed of light is indeed faster than
the speed of sound…
Is this due reward for my deeds?
The setting sun casted gloom upon these frigid streets.
The gelid breeze reaching down between my legs and up my spine,
degenerating warmth and felicity.
The pervasive dampness taunts my selfless disposition…
The irrepressible shifting of the tides is near at hand.
And anything within the context of such authority is beyond my own.
That of course I could only mind these immediate concerns and bitterly wait.
Twilight has passed and now I submit myself to the eerie night.
After every blaze, remains its ashes…
A lifeless reminder of things past and will remain far behind…
And tonight I shall light anew.
The gravity of longingness is greater magnified.
And the ashes will remain, and its spirit nameless and half forgotten.
Should all the reason amount to nothing more than the dust your stepping at…
Then I suppose the blessings of my Father should be enough…
Things ahead might be bright, and the light for the hopeful shines mighty.
Any faith and discipline can do so much… but can only do as much without
integrity.
That I ought to wish for my comrade what I wish and aspire for myself.
Should all the reason amount to nothing more than the dust your stepping at…
Then truly the blessings of my Father are all I have left.
The hands of the clock, quite far now since I last saw it.
I shall close my eyes to make sure I listen to myself…
And pray to make sure you listen to yourself.
The whistling wind of transcendence never sounded so bittersweet…
The forces of your nature sings…
Their prayer whispered from beyond the soundness of your mortal reasoning,
fading into the air… sounding so fractured like the mirror behind your eyes.
I could only say whatever I can care to say. Forever a slave to the highway…
One for the road, and another for the memories, lastly to the song only a handful
would dare to hear. The road whispers... and the sea lay calm and awake.
Now I must catch the lingering light by the clouds of my plight,
The time has come to be immortal.
The whistling wind of transcendence, so innocent, never sounded so bittersweet…
Like your footsteps fading far past from me now.
Withered are the traces of the day…
The glance etched in sorrow…

Naked Thought

It's been a week since my man-age has progressed yet again. It's been a tremendous passing for me. For several hundred cycles ago, with my back flat on my bed unknowingly struggling for my very life, slowly withering. But I lived, I survived, to stride for another step, to live on.

And perhaps my awakening has ushered me into the path which I have come to neglect for a very long time. Now with Chihiro and Izabella, I know the world shall hear of me and my visions. To bend the various aspects of reality and life and present it as I see it. To return to forever. To paint my visions into the interstellar canvass of the universe for all creations to see and ponder about.

And in the gloom of my casual life, came forth the light I have come to follow today. It's always bright and warm, I could feel life pulsating from it even from a distance. It has led me to discovering many new things about the world around me and my own life. I have since sought to understand it. It is very elementary in structure yet so other-worldly intricate in essence. It has given me so much joy which I feel I have never experienced in all my lifetime. It has led me to crippling desperation, and I thought I have been in the darkness for far too long.

I'd like to be by its side for the remainder of my days. Although I feel this somewhat frigid sense of unwant, trying to push me further from it. I cannot allow the true nature of my intention be clouded by my troublesome speculative person. And yes I think too much for my own good more than half the time, my gift and my curse.

"Every day is future to past, every breath leads me closer to my last" -- Dream Theater
I guess thats how I feel. Making the most of my abilities until such time the true meaning of my life is revealed to me. And perhaps twist or even break the rules which my life has adhered to, rules that no one else seems to bother with, but I only wish to keep my word and do the good thing as my heart dictates.

Such a force to actually lead me from the confines of my abode to seek it.